


Perfect Drug

by captain_subtext



Series: The Spy and the Trickster [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Bloodplay, F/M, Femdom, Knifeplay, Rope Bondage, dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2017-12-23 17:50:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 13,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_subtext/pseuds/captain_subtext
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No copyright infringement of the Photoshop and YouTube brands intended.</p></blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [One Night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/773215) by [captain_subtext](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_subtext/pseuds/captain_subtext). 



Loki had simply vanished after that night.

Or he might as well have. No one had seen or heard from him for months. According to Thor, even Hemidall couldn’t find him.

Still, it was no time to sit idle. The god of mischief wasn’t the only threat on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s horizon so work went on, though everyone’s tacit assumption was that he was planning something grander and more destructive than ever before. It was just a matter of when.

The sense of foreboding lay heaviest on Natasha.

Loki was somewhere out there with an advantage over her, all due to her own stupidity. She’d been so sure that she could use him as a quick sexual fix but he’d overwhelmed her, drowning her mind and pouring her into her body. He’d made her _feel_ , and that was too great a risk in her line of work.

But she still couldn’t get that night out of her mind. Loki had figured out exactly what made her unwind and giving into something so simple and raw had been more thrilling than she could have imagined. How could she have known he would twist her hate into some sick kind of intimacy?

Hate was still safer than love. She’d been looking at Clint again, wanting to be in love with him and wondering why she wasn’t. He was a good man despite his past, and understood her better than anyone - she even trusted him. He was smart, attractive, and funny, and she wanted to want him, there was no reason why she shouldn’t. 

In the end it was his unshakeable trust that left her cold, his blind confidence that she could overcome her ledger and be more. Whenever she turned to him she ran up against his optimism, and she knew she would do something to disappoint him eventually. The pressure was too great, so she kept him at a safe distance.

But when Loki had pulled her down to his level and ripped off her mask she’d begged for _him_ , a violent, insecure maniac. What was wrong with her?

Because she wanted him again. She craved his body, his mouth, even his cruel whispers in her ear. His ability to see through her terrified her and yet she knew he could take her beyond, knew that he would get her off again and again even if it was just to feed his own ego.

And admittedly she wanted revenge as well. She was determined to use his own arrogance to trip him up, and his confusion would be almost as sweet as his moaning, because she had every intention of fucking him senseless first.

She knew this line of thinking was unprofessional.

She was almost grateful it was impossible to seek him out. It gave her time to get a grip, to assure that the next time she saw Loki, she would have the upper hand.


	2. Chapter 2

Oh yes. This time, it would be different.

Loki smiled quietly to himself as his minions buzzed around him. He had been patient this time, each piece of his plan carefully crafted to fall together seamlessly when the crucial moment came. It was fine work if he said so himself, so subtle and elegant that he was amazed he had not thought to try this before.

It was almost time to reveal himself, and how they would all shudder then.

Especially _her_.

He hadn’t forgotten Natasha, not for a second. He had left them both smouldering, and over the long months his desire to ignite her again had been burning him from the inside. And this time, she would come to him - parting as they did, how could she not? And would she not be astounded by his grand new scheme? He would cherish her awe and approval almost as dearly as the moans from her lips.

He rubbed his hands together, and walked through his new base. No more dank and crumbling lairs, no more hiding. He would execute this scheme in full view of Midgard’s so called “mightiest heroes”, and they would be incapable of stopping him. Soon this world - and the divine Black Widow - would be his.


	3. Chapter 3

The shrill ringing woke her out of a sound sleep.

She sat up with an annoyed grunt and looked around for her phone. This was the first quiet afternoon she’d had since Belize and the world had better be ending or she was going to be severely pissed at whoever was interrupting her nap.

“You’re not going to believe this.” It was Clint, who of all people should have known better.

“What? You’d better have a good reason-”

“Turn on CNN.” 

He could _not_ be serious. “I don’t care what stupid celebrity is-”

“Just turn it on.” He didn’t sound amused.

Drowsily, she turned on the TV and clicked over to the 24 hour news station. What she saw made her almost drop the phone.

It was Loki. 

His hair was shorter, and his smile surprisingly devoid of sneering or smirking, but it was definitely the twisted alien-god that they couldn't seem to put out of business. He appeared to be talking to a reporter at some sort of public event, judging by the flashing lights and throngs of people in the background. She turned up the volume.

“...I may be just a junior senator, but I have ambition. I mean to do great things for this country.” His voice was a perfect imitation of a middle-American accent, his suit neat but conservative, his face disarmingly honest as he looked at the camera.

She was wide awake now. “I’m calling Fury,” she said, just as her other line started to beep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No copyright infringement of the Photoshop and YouTube brands intended.

Within hours the entire team had gathered at S.H.I.E.L.D’s New York headquarters. The atmosphere in the conference room was so tense that even Stark appeared somber.

Fury stood up. “We’ve all seen the news, so I don’t need to tell you why you’re here. Agent Lewis from our political analysis department will bring you up to speed with the latest developments.”

“Darcy Lewis?” Thor boomed. Natasha recognized Jane Foster’s former assistant, now dressed in an immaculate S.H.I.E.L.D.-issue pantsuit at odds with her casual, animated demeanor.

“Don’t look so surprised. Poli-sci major, remember? I’d be in Washington except tazing aliens means S.H.I.E.L.D. either recruits you or tosses you into witness protection. Guess which I chose? And goodie for me ‘cos this is way more interesting than hiding out in podunk.” 

She clicked a few buttons and multiple shots of Loki’s face appeared on the screens surrounding the table. He looked earnest, dignified, and even humble as needed, and it was clear that both the camera and the people loved him. Natasha was galled and not a little impressed at the virtuosity of his deceit, and wondered if anyone else could see his absolute glee at the adoring crowds.

“I’ve never seen a campaign like this. He’s set himself up as an aspiring “Washington outsider”, and he’s somehow managing to be everything to everyone. There’s already talk about a possible presidential run...” Darcy flipped through some papers. “Seriously, he’s like teflon. He’s young, handsome - what? He is! - charming, competent but approachable, idealistic but practical. He’s high in the polls with every demographic.”

“Well, this is a step up from his usual wholesale destruction,” observed Banner drily. 

Thor nodded soberly. “Underhanded dealing was always Loki’s great strength. It is quite a wonder that he has not exploited his silver tongue before.” Natasha suppressed a twitch. Thor was right, Loki lived to manipulate, and she cursed herself for not anticipating he’d try something like this.

“How can ‘Lawrence Odensen’ just appear overnight without warning?” Banner continued. “Where is the money coming from?” 

“We think it’s magic,” Lewis answered, and Natasha twitched again. She'd never been able to predict how Loki would use his magic, and she hated having holes in her defense.

“That’s the only way we could think of that he got this much response this fast,” Lewis continued. “Probably used it to create his fake history too, in case anyone looks too closely. Not like anyone who matters is going to admit it if they’ve never heard of him - we suspect he’s blackmailing every heavy hitter in DC, we just haven’t proved it yet.”

Stark made a face, and pulled out his phone. “Am I giving money to this guy? JARVIS-”

“No sir,” the AI answered, loud enough for all to hear. “It appears Loki is not foolish enough to solicit campaign donations from Stark Industries.”

“His alias is a bit transparent though, isn’t it?” Rogers asked. “We can’t be the only people who've noticed. Hasn’t anyone tied ‘Odensen’ to New York or Stuttgart?” 

This was a valid question. The Battle of New York had revealed once and for all the existence of aliens, but S.H.I.E.L.D. had managed to keep many of the details classified, not least of which that the leader of the alien army was from a planet with which they were trying to work out diplomatic relations.

“Incredibly, no! I mean, a lot of the coverage _was_ pretty blurry and he was wearing that stupid helmet most of the time, but still…” Lewis shrugged. “A few fringe websites have noticed a resemblance but we have our people writing them off as conspiracy theorists,” she admitted. “If people knew the guy who broke Manhattan was now running for leader of the free world there’d be panic in the streets.”

“So?” Clint said. “All this is interesting, but why aren’t we taking him out this second?”

“Barton!” Thor shouted.

“Because certain of our allies from Asgard want him taken alive,” said Fury, glaring at Thor. “Also, Loki is such a public figure now that there’s no way we can go in guns blazing without risking the lives of all of the civilians he’s surrounded himself with.”

“Why not stage a fake assassination?” Clint offered. “I can get a precise shot. There’s got to be some kind of sedative-.”

“He survived being hammered into a cement crater by the Hulk,” Fury sighed. “Do you really think drugs are going to knock him out?”

“Can we not capture him?” Thor asked. “Stark has been working with my father to perfect some new containments.”

“What about a good old-fashioned sex scandal?”

Everyone looked at Stark.

“Seriously. No American political figure survives getting caught with his pants down. Set him up and the people will turn away from him, no blazing guns needed. We grab him right after the press conference of shame and lock him down.”

Fury appeared to consider. “Is there some poor fool he’s sleazed into posing as his wife? If we could make it look like he was cheating-”

“No one,” replied Lewis. “He flirts and winks but we think it’s a ploy to get into the tabloids.”

“You could Photoshop one of mine,” Stark said, fiddling with his phone again. “JARVIS, pull up my YouTube best-of-”

“I don’t think that would work, sir,” JARVIS replied. “Even quality image manipulations can be detected under close examination. Besides, your antics prior to your relationship with Ms. Potts were so... unique I suspect the even most gullible reporters would know they were yours.”

He shrugged. “So we get the real thing.”

“We... no..” Rogers looked uncomfortable. “Look, I’m not naive, but it takes months to set up an effective honey trap. Besides, he’s too dangerous. And...” 

“Come on, he’s got to have a weakness,” Stark said. “Something that just *looks* kinky will do the trick.” He looked at Thor. “So, what’s he into? Whips? Chains? Sex dwarves? You’re his brother - what makes for a hot date on Asgard?”

“I would not know, Loki was always very secretive about such matters.” Thor made a face. “I think it ...cruel that you would seek to humiliate him in this way. It could potentially backfire...”

“Crueler than he would be to the American people if we let him get to the White House?” Stark shot back. “I’m not all that concerned about hurting his little feelings. Hell, if he’d been getting laid, maybe he wouldn’t have gone off on this power trip in the first place.”

Natasha knew better than any of them that sex did nothing to quench Loki’s lust for power, but maybe she’d found a use for her incredibly bad judgement in hooking up with him after all. 

She’d be found out and the fallout would almost certainly be ugly, but the plan forming in her mind would also get exactly the results they needed. She studiously ignored the possibility that she might enjoy the mission a little too much.

“Mind games,” Natasha thought out loud, and everyone looked at her.

“Domination, submission?” They all still looked blank. “Loki won’t go for just a pretty face, he’ll want to get into someone’s head. The trick is finding someone who can play him well enough to get him into a compromising position.”

“You’re the only agent who could pull that off, but he knows you,” Fury said. 

She set her jaw. “I can still do it.”

Everyone shook their heads. “He’d know it’s a set up,” Banner pointed out. 

_No he wouldn’t_ , she thought. “I’m very good at this. He wouldn’t suspect a thing.”

Clint nodded grimly. “It’s risky, but - yeah, if anyone can mindfuck Loki, she can.”


	5. Chapter 5

S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t have long to wait before Loki’s campaign came to New York City. Undercover agents were deployed to observe, not engage, and their reports were troubling. 

None of his staffers had the icy blue eyes characteristic of tesseract possession. Indeed, every one of them seemed completely normal except for their unreserved enthusiasm for their chosen candidate. All expressed absolute confidence that he would make the world a better place, though none of them were able to name a single defined policy goal. 

It was clear that Loki had to be using magic of some kind. Unfortunately it was going to take more than a few cracks on heads to break the spell. 

At least the hidden cameras were now in place.

While this recon was being done, Natasha was laying out her weapons. The gun went without saying, as did the widows bite disguised as a bracelet. A knife or two, and Stark’s new secret weapon. 

Over these she wore a sensible navy skirt suit, not too tight or too short, with a conservatively cut silk blouse. Understated glasses and low heeled pumps completed the ensemble, and she washed a brown rinse over her flaming hair. The objective was to blend in, to be completely forgettable to everyone she would have to interact with to get to Loki. 

But she applied a swipe of lipstick and curled her hair. She might need to flirt for access, after all. And she didn’t want to admit the real reason she was thrumming with energy to start this mission.

Hill and Lewis monitored the video feed from headquarters as Natasha made her way to the campaign hotel. They were responsible for backup and extraction should she need it, but in the end it seemed that most of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s extensive preparation hadn’t been necessary.

Indeed, Natasha found the lack of security in the campaign’s block of hotel rooms suspicious - no guards, no minders, not even metal detectors. It wasn’t even that difficult to get into Loki’s private room. All she had to do was pretend to be a local campaign worker, giddy and ever so eager to take the latest poll readings to ‘Mr. Odensen’, and she was shown the way with an understanding nod.

She stepped into the room silently where Loki was busy shaking the hand of some starry-eyed supporter. In person, he radiated perfectly the understated glamour of a politician - polished but not too much, he played the American Everyman so well it was frightening.

Loki saw her and hesitated for a beat, then continued, betraying nothing as he finished the discussion. Oozing affability, he shook the man’s hand and saw him out the door before closing it and turning to her.

“I have been waiting for you,” he said in his real voice, and a chill went up her spine. Of course he had. No wonder getting to him had been so easy...

She watched him carefully. He looked neither surprised nor happy to see her, appearing only mildly curious as he closed the distance between them to loom over her. Gently, he took off her glasses, his eyes meeting hers.

And then they were on each other.

All the memories of that night came flooding back at his touch, the taste and smell of him so familiar and electric that her breath caught despite herself. As their hands and lips wandered feverishly she realized with alarm just how little she was going to have to act to get her plan to work. “I knew you would come,” he mumbled into her hair, sliding his hands down her sides before slamming her face first into the wall.


	6. Chapter 6

“Did you really think I did not know they would send you?” Loki snarled. He ripped off her blazer, twisting it to trap her arms as he pulled the gun out of her holster and threw it to the floor. “Pathetic!” he spat, running a hand under her skirt to find the knife she had strapped to her thigh. This too, he tossed aside. “Imagining I wouldn’t find these feeble toys instantly! And you, Natasha,” he growled. “Allowing S.H.I.E.L.D. to send you on this fool’s errand. I expected you to be smarter than this.”

She was prepared for Loki's mood swings. “I’m always armed, you know that. S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn’t know I’m here,” she said, her voice muffled by the wall. She tried to turn and look at him but he had her pinned flat. “I’m here...for...”

She arched her back and pressed into him, gyrating a bit for good measure. “You know why I’m here,” she breathed.

Abruptly he spun her around and scrutinized her. His gaze drifted downwards, doubtless taking in her flushed face, stiff nipples, and and rushed breath. His scowl melted into a knowing smile. “Natasha, is this...a ‘booty call’?” he asked slyly.

He looked so pleased with himself for figuring her out so she gritted her teeth in mock anger, knowing he’d be even further off his guard if he thought he had her at a disadvantage. 

He kissed her again, kicking her feet apart as he did so. She allowed herself a whimper as he rucked up her skirt and cupped her sex. She felt him smile into her lips as he felt how wet she was, even through her underwear.

“Oh yes, your greedy quim got the better of you,” he breathed, teasing her through the fabric. She grabbed his lapels and kissed him with a frustrated growl. “Shut up. I've waited long enough,” she hissed, shoving him towards the bed.

“I knew you would not be able to resist once I was so nearby,” he taunted. Loki was so easy to manipulate when he thought he had the upper hand that getting him on his back was embarrassingly simple. She straddled him, unbuttoning his shirt while he pulled hers off over her head.

He found the small metal box clipped to her lacy bra and looked confused. “What is this?” he asked, touching it.

That triggered the mechanism, and the metal cables sprung forward.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Dubcon, femdom, bondage, knifeplay, bloodplay this chapter.

“It’s the first Allfather/Stark Industries collaboration. Do you like it?”

Natasha had to admit that this was one of Stark’s better ideas. Applying the self-assembling technology he’d perfected with his Iron Man suits to cables had been easy, and Odin had assured them the alloy he provided would inhibit magic and super strength as well. The cables had shot at lightning speed to tie Loki to the bed spread eagled, and while the bedframe groaned as he struggled, they held. The result was a securely bound god of mischief seething in rage.

“You insolent child!” Loki spat. “I will kill you and all of your Avengers when they arrive...”

His voice trailed off as she unhooked her bra and slipped off the rest of her clothing. “They aren’t coming,” she replied. “I told you,” she said, a smile dancing on her lips, “I came for *me*.”

She picked her knife off the floor and climbed back on the bed with him. She straddled him and cocked her head, a bit surprised that he was still getting hard under her. “You presume to restrain a god?” he hissed. His voice carried an edge but but his eyes darted to his bound limbs in panic. It was clear that though he might be turned on he still hated not being in control.

“Oh, Loki, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to be on top...” Natasha murmured, sliding the flat part of the blade across his cheek. “But I never thought you’d let me, so I borrowed a few toys.” The fabric of his shirt whispered under her blade as she cut it off, exposing his slim, muscled torso. She started kissing his neck, his chest, all of that delicious smooth skin he hadn’t let her touch before.

“What are you-” His breath caught as she raked a nail across his nipple. “If you think this in any way lessens the your insult to me, you are much mistaken,” he snapped. “This is the grossest presumption, the vilest assault to my dignity-”

“You are so beautiful, Loki,” she whispered, tossing aside the scraps of his shirt. She meant it too. There was something so enticing about the way he was spread out and vulnerable for her, even if it wasn’t his own choice.

“Do not think sweet words will let you escape my wrath,” he growled, watching the path of the knife as she started cutting open his sleeves, pulling the ragged material away to leave his flexed arms bare.

“Won’t they?” she said, all saccharine. She tightened her thighs around his hips, pressing tight against his erection.

“I could expose you with a _word_ ,” he shot back. “One shout from me and my followers will run to my aid. With your identity revealed, your friends would have no use for you!”

“You won’t do that,” she replied, sliding off of him to pull his trousers down. “You don’t want them to see you at the mercy of an ‘insolent child’, and you sure as hell don’t want them to see how much you _love_ it...” He stared as she started stroking him.

“You deceive yourself if you think-” Loki hissed as she took him into her mouth, wrapping her lips tight around his shaft. She heard a little whimper as she played with his balls, and worked him with mouth and hands until he started jerking his hips, whereupon she abruptly stopped, releasing him with a slick “pop”.

“These seem to be getting in the way,” she purred, grabbing a pants leg. She started cutting off the rest of his clothes, and Loki looked on in horror as the blade passed his groin. Natasha was so distracted by his growing agitation that she hadn’t realized she cut his thigh until she heard his breath hitch.

“You DARE!” he snarled. “You dare to make a god bleed!”

His face was alight with rage and his muscle twitched where she’d cut him, but his body told a different story: he had stopped struggling and lay very, very still, his erection stiff against his belly and his pupils blown wide. _Interesting_.

Looking him in the eye, she made a short nick on his hip.

Loki sucked in his breath and both of them stared as the thin scratch bloomed into a vivid red, blood dripping down his leg onto the white sheets while his wound slowly closed.

“Are you happy, mortal? Do you see how weak your tiny blade is?” he spat, though less forcefully. “I will heal in a second, and as soon as I free myself I will be upon you…”

He wasn’t wrong about the first part. She’d seen how much punishment he could take, and the realization that his pain threshold might be astronomical just gave her all the more excuse to...

She knew what her mission was: get him in a compromising position for the hidden cameras. Maybe - _maybe_ \- a blow job or the like before extracting herself, just to make him believe it was real.

But his wiry muscles stretched tight so beautifully as he strained against his bonds, his cock so hard and leaking even as he glared at her...he was the hottest thing she’d ever seen. How could she resist marking up that glorious expanse of porcelain skin?

She placed a hand on his cock, and made another gash under his ribs, cutting deep and slow, his flesh giving quickly under the razor sharp blade. 

He growled and lurched forward, staring at the cut and then at her, and damned if he wasn’t twitching.

“Does it seem so weak now?” she asked sweetly.

“You!” he rasped as the blood gushed. 

Oh, he got off on this, all right. And he hated it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: bondage, knifeplay, bloodplay, femdom, dubcon.

Loki reared up as far as his bonds would allow, tensed like a snake about to strike. “Try it, Natasha!” he spat. “Try it, and see how I come back upon you tenfold!”

“Agent,” she corrected, focusing on where to make her first real slice into him. She raked her nails over his chest to see where he flinched, watching his skin flush red at her touch and marveling at how quickly the rows of scrapes faded.

Finally, she took the knife and positioned the point on his left pectoral muscle, right over his heart.

“You mean to open me like a ripe fruit, to dig out my heart?” he sneered. “You haven’t the strength-”

“You’re right, I don’t,” she interrupted. Instead she pulled the blade downwards, savoring the brief resistance of his skin before it split apart.

He arched his back, leaning into the blade as she carved a long curve that finished at his nipple. His teeth were gritted as the knife went in deeper than even she had anticipated and his blood flowed freely, dripping to his stomach before rolling down his side.

“But you do have enough, little mortal,” he panted, grinning at her. “Does it please you to cut the god of mischief? To take my very life’s blood-”

A strangled cry escaped his lips as she traced a line down his sternum, pressing until she felt her knife stop at the hard boundary of cartilage. His hands knotted into fists as his arms stretched tight, breath stuttering as he shook.

“It does,” she said with a little smile. She leaned forward to slide against his cock, giving herself a little shiver of pleasure. “It pleases you too, I see. What is it,” she smirked, “does the pain take the pressure off, is it fun to be a little light headed?”

“Oh, I am perfectly coherent,” he lied. His eyes were getting hazy, and for all his taunting his voice was more breathless than forceful. “If this is all it takes to fell a mortal man then you are truly a sadder race than I thought-”

She drew a long cut along his right side, and the way he pulled away from it convinced her that she’d finally gotten through to him...until he suddenly relaxed so completely that for a split second she feared he had passed out. But no, he was awake and looked almost beatific, with half-open eyes and relaxed smile even as he gasped for air. She had been so ashamed of her own loss of control, but it was nothing compared to this vulnerability, this total surrender.

And his erection still pressed insistently against her.

It occurred to Natasha that she had no extraction plan for this situation, no clear instruction on what to do if they were interrupted, or if he bled out.

Loki laughed giddily, interrupting her train of thought. “You think you can break me, *Agent*,” he rasped, his lip twitching in a weak snarl. “Do your worst!”

And she forgot all about logistics, and lay into him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings this chapter: femdom, knife play, bloodplay, bondage.

Natasha was careful, avoiding major arteries in favor of carving up smooth, clean muscle. Not only was it safer, it meant she could string this out, enjoying the ongoing tense and release of Loki’s body under her as he fell apart under her blade.

He resisted, a little. Growling and shuddering, he would stretch into the knife with a wicked, challenging glimmer in his eyes only to let his head fall back in bliss as the blood started to flow. “I can take it,” he spat, his voice trailing to a hiss as if the cut deflated his anger in some way.

Her focus was such that she had no idea how long she had gone on before she stopped to take a look at her good work.

Loki was bleeding from a dozen or more graceful arcs and lines on his torso and stomach. Red streams flowed from his body onto the bed as he panted, looking at her with dark, hazy eyes. An ordinary man would have died, or at least passed out, from the blood loss. But then, there were no men like him, and he lay like a beautiful broken angel beneath her.

She leaned forward and kissed him, light and chaste. "You really can take it, so wonderfully well," she whispered, while placing her hands on his chest. Just as he started to kiss her back she pressed down, earning a groan as she pulled his wounds open to bleed once more. “You devious wench,” he whispered, rolling his hips into hers with a weak thrust. Natasha gasped as his still hard cock rubbed against her clit. “I want,” he breathed, flicking his tongue over his lips. “So do you, I suspect…”

Loki was right, despite the blood and mess she did want him, all the more that he was so eager even as he was so weakened, so completely at her mercy. “You’re awfully demanding,” she replied, sliding wetly along his length, her cunt clenching as she teased herself. “And I want all you can give me,” she whispered, ghosting her fingers over his arm. “I need you to wake up so I can fuck you the way I want to…”

Loki jumped violently as she sank the blade into the sensitive flesh on the underside of his arm, gritting something under his breath as his eyes widened back to life. He gulped for air as he flailed, and Natasha was so busy trying to keep her balance on him as she finished the deep cut that by the time she saw his left hand slip out of the cables, it was too late.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood and knifeplay are over with this chapter, so if you were squeamish about these you can pick up here.

A single free hand was all it took for Loki to release himself from the cables, and before Natasha could think he had flipped her over.

He grabbed her wrist and slammed it down so hard that she dropped the knife, and wrapped his other hand around her throat. Even in his weakened state he still gripped her so tightly that she was struggling to breathe as she clawed at his hand. It felt as though her legs might break under the weight of his knees digging into her thighs, and though she could still feel his warm, sticky blood falling on her she knew he had to be healing even faster now.

“Who are you?” he rasped. “WHAT _are_ you?” He didn’t even look angry, just confused as his eyes searched hers for something he clearly wasn’t finding. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, his gaze drilling into her as she stared back. 

Stars started to crowd the edges of her vision as the moment dragged on, and the distant thought occurred to her that this wasn’t how she thought she’d die. She’d barely had a chance to start setting everything right...

Then Loki crushed his lips to hers, and everything became a blur.

He released her to push her legs apart but she was already reaching for his cock, devouring his mouth as she guided him into her. He was so rough and fast she had to cling to him to stay on the bed, the world shrinking to the rhythm of his pistoning into her and his voice in her ear. Words like “vicious” and “beautiful” mingled with his grunts and she could only answer with a gasped “yes, yes, yes” as they both raced towards a quick climax. She came with a cry and Loki followed soon after, jolting her so hard it almost hurt.


	11. Chapter 11

They peeled apart, both of them covered in drying blood and other bodily fluids. “Urgh...let me up,” Natasha said, making a face.

“Stay,” Loki said. “Please,” he added, though his hand was so tight around her arm that it didn’t feel like a request.

“This is disgusting, don’t you want to wash-”

“Look,” he smiled, sweeping an arm across the bed. Sure enough, the blood and sweat were gone, their bodies clean, the sheets pristine. “Stay.”

She lay back down cautiously, trying to figure out Loki’s latest whiplash-speed mood swing. He looked almost grateful as he entwined his limbs with hers. She touched his wounds, now faded to a pale pink, and tried to figure out why the man she’d just cut up and who had almost strangled her for it could look on her with what seemed to be mute admiration.

“Do you know, this is the first time I’ve seen you...playful?” His voice sounded dry from exhaustion but his gaze was uncomfortably intense.

“What do you mean?” she replied, as he brushed his thumb over her lip.

“Such childlike delight as you took your knife to me,” he breathed, pulling her in close. “Your devious smile...I had no idea....”

 _So he’s a masochist_ , she concluded. It explained why he hadn’t killed her, but he looked so relaxed it was unsettling.

“I have been a fool,” he whispered. “An idiot child, not to recognize you for the treasure you are.” She stilled herself as he took her face in his hands.

“I need you.” The pleading and certainty in his voice turned Natasha’s stomach. The last thing she wanted was for Loki to be in love with her, no matter how useful that might be.

She focused on the mission. “Why?” she asked.

“To help me subdue this realm.” _Here it is_ , she thought. The grand plan, or at least a very revealing lie.

“I am not going to help you destroy Earth-”

“Midgard need not be taken by force, I see that now. Why cause bloodshed when mortals are so easily charmed?” He sighed happily. “That your political structure preserves the illusion of freedom is very clever, and makes it so much more fun! Once your united states are mine, I doubt the rest of this world will even try to resist.” 

_This is a new tack_ , she thought. ”It sounds like you’ve got this all wrapped up,” she said. “What do you need me for?”

“To enforce my peace.” His expression turned serious. “Humans lead such short, miserable lives as it is. Those who kill and exploit the weak...the suffering they cause need not be tolerated. Unlike many of your leaders I mean every word of my promises: the powerless WILL be protected.”

She didn’t believe for a second that Loki had suddenly developed compassion but she was curious to discover the logic behind his lie. “Criminals are already punished, Loki. The system of laws-”

“Your weak laws?” he spat. “I expected less naivety from you, Natasha! Incarceration with every physical need catered for, or at worst, a swift, painless death. These are the ‘punishments’ of a cowardly regime, so dedicated to thinking itself merciful that it refuses to do what is necessary.” he continued. “Evil must suffer, and examples must be made.”

This sounded more like the Loki she knew. “I still don’t follow.”

“I could kill them, easily, efficiently. But you....” he smiled, shaking his head. “Your brutal talents...”

She felt sick as realization dawned. “I would never torture-”

“But you would!” he exclaimed. “You have! Do you not realize that the reason you are ideal is because you _enjoy_ it?” His eyes were bright with madness and utter sincerity.

She steeled herself as the bile rose in her throat, reminding herself that she couldn’t stop now that he was telling her everything. “You expect me to torture for you.”

“Only the worst,” Loki said. “You can devise lingering torments the likes of which I could only hope to equal! The masses will adore me but tremble at the sight of you. None would dare cross us...”

Incredibly, he was nibbling her throat as he reminded her of her worst excesses, praising her for crimes she wished she could undo. “And if I refuse?” she asked, as he kissed her collarbone.

He looked at her with sad eyes. “I would kill you, of course, though it would break my heart to destroy an artist like you. Alas, I cannot have you stand in the way of justice.”

Natasha’s skin crawled with horror. _Loki thought he was one of the good guys_. He really thought that he would be doing Earth a favor with his perverse flavor of “justice”, that he was so perfect that he could easily play judge, jury, and executioner - though he seemed to have reserved that last role for her. And with his indestructibility and immortality...the level of damage he could do…

“But I do not wish to utter such threats,” Loki continued, not noticing how she had frozen. “You will join me for I what I offer.” He cupped her breasts with his hands, kissing the valley between them.

“And what is that?” she gasped. Despite her disgust her nipples stiffened under his tongue, and she couldn’t deny how good it felt.

“No lies, no ambiguity,” he whispered. “Never will I keep secrets within secrets from you, as Fury does.” His kisses trailed down her belly, and she found her hands winding into his hair. “You will know every detail of your victims’ crimes, you will never need question that they richly deserve the punishment you would mete out in my name.” She stretched, spreading her legs as he murmured against her thighs. “And for every monster you vanquish, I will show you my gratitude. Intimately,” he breathed against her mound. “Enthusiastically...”

He didn’t hesitate for a moment, using hands and tongue to bring her to a swift, shuddering orgasm. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she came, hating him and hating herself.

“Say yes,” he whispered against her clit. “Be my sword, and rule at my side...”

He started eating her again and she was spiraling upwards, thighs tight around his shoulders as she canted her hips towards his mouth. A cry of “yes” escaped her lips, and mistaking her ecstasy for agreement he briefly looked up and beamed at her before ducking between her legs again. 

Natasha had him now - she knew the truth, and that it was useful if he thought she was on his side, so she didn't bother to correct him.

Besides, she was coming too hard to speak.


	12. Chapter 12

Loki had been all too eager to show her just how pleased he was with her “decision” to join him, and God help her, she’d let him - hell, she’d encouraged him, and not just to maintain her cover. It had been difficult (literally) to walk away and it was well after sunset before she could make her excuses and escape. The original plan had been to leak the video in time for 6 pm network news, but now S.H.I.E.L.D. would be lucky if it went out at 11. Natasha was just grateful she was finally out of that room.

She staggered silently through the hotel halls, avoiding campaign workers with carefully cultivated ordinariness. Just as she was good at getting attention, she was equally talented at making herself completely unnoticeable.

It wasn’t until she found a bathroom that she paused to cry, locking herself in a stall and sobbing so hard she almost retched into the toilet.

It shouldn’t have surprised her that Loki could have cut her to the quick even when he wasn’t trying. He might be a ravenous masochist but that was no excuse for her to have enjoyed taking him apart as much as she had. She had always been very, very good at her job, and it was obvious just why she was so effective. And now Loki had _seen_ her again and wanted her for all of the things she hated about herself.

Curled up in the stall, she tried to rationalize: She’d accomplished her goal, hadn’t she? Even if her means were unplanned and unconventional, did it matter if she got the right results? Loki hadn’t objected too vigorously either - if he had cried out for mercy, she would have given it to him.

Wouldn’t she? 

Or maybe her peculiar talents would always land her knee deep in her red ledger, trying to wade out but never succeeding. 

But there wasn’t time to dwell on her failings now. The job was not done, and the worst was yet to come. _I am the Black Widow, goddammit_ , she reminded herself. She was a professional and didn’t break for anyone, including herself. Gritting her teeth, she went to the mirror and fixed her hair and face, restoring her inner and outer masks to their cool, immaculate perfection.

She made the trip back to headquarters using a combination of taxis and subway, doubling back to make sure she wasn’t followed. 

Straightening her back, Natasha walked to the surveillance room and took a deep breath before opening the door.

Hill and Lewis turned to face her. “Did you get it?” she asked calmly.

Their fallen faces told her everything as the background hum of the equipment filled the silence.

“The situation has become more complicated,” she added.

“That’s the understatement of the year!” a masculine voice piped up through the speakers.

“What the hell, Stark?”


	13. Chapter 13

Stark had hacked the feed because he wanted to see the test of his magic-dampening cable, or so he insisted. Thanks to Rogers’ sense of decency he hadn’t treated the rest of the team to the unedited video, though the transcripts provided by a chastened Agent Lewis included all of the pillow talk accompanied by detailed descriptions. 

Natasha shifted uncomfortably in the conference room chair. At least she knew that the shit hitting currently hitting the fan had been worth it. She had watched the late night news as the scandal unfolded - it wasn’t like she could sleep, and the string of expressions that crossed Loki’s face as reporters confronted him with the video had been priceless. Covering the range between mute bafflement to incandescent rage, his ensuing rant about the prudery of the American people would have tanked his campaign even if the video hadn’t. 

She’d seen the edited video leaked to the media as well. While it showed plenty, it hadn't shown her face. It seemed that S.H.I.E.L.D was maintaining her cover…for now, though the looks she was getting from across the table suggested that might not last.

Stark was the first to speak. “I need a cold shower. Or a drink. Maybe both.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked at her incredulously. “I get the whole ‘crazy will fuck you good’ thing, but did you have to fuck the crazy that wants to fuck us *all* good?”

“That was kind of the mission-” she started.

“No, the mission was to tie him up and get it on video. I’m even cool with the knife play - I don’t judge, and hey, he’s evil - but everything afterwards was...I mean, I can’t UNSEE that!” Stark said. “And-”

Rogers was blushing. “I gather from the transcript this wasn’t...you had been with him before...”

“Yes. Just how long has this been going on, Agent?” Fury lived up to his name, eye boring into her like a laser. 

“Only a few times,” she said quietly. “It started when we were fighting, and things got... out of hand. Then, it was a kind of bet...” She realized she wasn’t helping her case.

“And when were you planning on telling us?” Fury fumed.

“There was nothing to tell, it was just sex. Then it got more complicated...” It was obvious that her “I meant to do that” act wasn’t going to save her this time.

Their anger and disappointment hurt. Banner fiddled with his glasses, looking sad and uncomfortable, while Fury looked like he might combust at any second. Thor seemed stunned, Rogers was more embarrassed than angry, and Stark was beside himself with animated outrage. 

Clint was the worst. He wouldn’t even look at her, keeping his gaze on a fixed point in the distance.

\-------

More than anything, Natasha wanted to get out of that conference room and get a drink herself, preferably several. But Fury and Hill demanded she stay after the meeting was over.

Fury looked at her for a long time, shaking his head tightly. “I would bust your ass to the arctic base and have you pushing paper for a year if he’d talk to anyone else.”

“Pardon?” she asked.

“Your day’s not over yet. You’re interrogating Mr. Real Power, Romanoff,” he snapped, tossing a folder marked “Top Secret” at her. “He asked for you specifically, and I expect you to salvage something from this mess.”

“I mean... why do we need to interrogate him? Isn’t Thor just dragging him back to Asgard?”

Fury scoffed. “And that worked so well last time. No, we want to know how he manipulated all those people. It can’t just be his charming personality. You’re going to get him to work with us.”


	14. Chapter 14

Natasha gritted her teeth as she walked towards the interrogation room. Given what she’d seen of his press conference, she should have guessed Loki would want to take his anger out on her personally. Not pleasant, but if he went off on another tirade he would give himself away easily. Then maybe she could get that drink she’d been thinking about.

Opening the door, she found Loki bound hand and foot to a chair in Stark’s cables with his wrists cuffed behind his back. The cables were looped through metal rings embedded in the floor - S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn’t taking any chances this time. 

He’d been allowed to change back into a tunic and breeches though deprived of his magic he was starting to look a little disheveled, with hair falling into his face and stubble on his chin. Yet he still sat up ramrod straight and fixed his cold, mischievous gaze on her.

“How did your friends react to the sight of our rutting?” he smirked as she took the seat across from him. “Did Barton enjoy hearing my name on your lips?”

So he was going to try and use shame instead of rage. She could work with that. “They thought the part where I tied you up and filleted you was hilarious, actually,” Natasha replied.

He scowled briefly before continuing. “I would _never_ have asked you to prostitute yourself,” he said, with an air of disgust. “I am appalled-”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t ask, they just wanted you brought in alive. They didn’t care how.”

Loki’s eyebrows rose. “So.... you volunteered, then?”

“I did what I knew would work,” she answered, not missing a beat.

“And did it work for you, Natasha?” he grinned.

“Agent,” she corrected him.

“And we are back to _that_.” Loki shook his head sadly. “You will realize in time that you have chosen the wrong side. Leave this room and you will commit your same crimes masquerading as justice, and for what? With me you could have made an impact and seen the results of your actions instantly-”

She cut him off. “You know, they DID send me here to try and persuade you to work with us. Do something to ease the suffering of all these ‘poor mortals’ you’ve suddenly developed such compassion for.” She placed the file on the table and folded her hands on top of it. 

Loki shook his head. “Were your colleagues somehow unclear? I treat with you, and you alone. What do YOU want?” he said.

“I want what S.H.I.E.L.D. wants,” she said.

“And what do your masters want?” he asked.

“To know how you manipulated all those people. How you mounted a national political campaign overnight, where the money came from, who you were working with, if they’re still out there to create problems, and if so, what they’re planning.”

“Oh, is THAT all?” he sneered. “And what do I get in return?”

“We won’t send you back to Asgard,” she offered.

He laughed. “And why should I fear that? I have escaped more than once, doing it again poses no challenge to me. Try again.”

She narrowed her eyes. “So, what do _you_ want?”

“You know what I want.” Loki’s grin widened as he looked at her with predatory lust.

She cocked an eyebrow. “I thought you would never ask me to prostitute myself.”

“It is your allegiance to your friends that puts you in this position,” he sniffed. “Poorly placed, I might add, because it is not as if they trust you anymore. Besides..” Loki leaned forward, his voice low and seductive. “Would it be so terrible? Would it be such a burden to have me bed you night after night, to abandon yourself to me until you collapse with blissful exhaustion? You know I would make it very much worth your while…”

His words combined with her recent humiliation forced an embarrassing flush to her cheeks. Loki played dirty, but she could still keep the advantage if she used this just right.

“You want me...you want to own me.” she said in a small voice.

He nodded, grinning. “Your submission could spare a whole planet. I would ask no others to kneel before me if you indulged my every whim without reservation…”

He was so predictable that she had to choke down the cackle threatening to jump out of her throat. Instead, she stood up from the table and approached him, eyes downcast and lip trembling. “And...what would I get?”

“Pleasure,” he breathed. “Pure and uncomplicated. I would show you ecstasies you can’t yet imagine. I might even assist your precious S.H.I.E.L.D., if you would just give yourself fully to me.”

She had to hand it to him, he had incredible nerve making this demand while he was the one tied up. If she had been in a different frame of mind it might even have been appealing. Did he even realize he’d just walked into her trap? 

She pressed a button on the wall. “Turn them off,” she ordered, and waited until the tell-tale red lights on the surveillance cameras went dark.

Then she straddled him and slid onto his lap, settling in good and tight when he grinned at her.

“Let’s have a little talk, just you and I,” she whispered, slipping her hands under his shirt.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CBT/genital torture this chapter.

“I knew I could bring you around,” Loki smirked while Natasha caressed his chest. She scraped a nail across one of his nipples and was rewarded with a twitch against her thigh. “Do you wish to discuss the specifics of our bargain, or simply-”

“No, Loki,” she whispered, fingers tracing down his stomach. “I want to talk about...knives.”

She heard his breath catch and felt him get a bit harder. “Your dossier said you liked knives, but I didn’t know you _liked_ them,” she murmured, flicking her tongue against his ear.

“As do you,” he breathed as Natasha started to undo his breeches. “I must say, your facility with a blade is impressive for-”

“Don’t you try and turn this around on me,” she said, nibbling his neck. “You were the one who got so *hard*...” And he was now as she took his length in hand, stroking it slowly. “And so, so turned on by my cutting you up. Why was that, do you think?”

“The delight of seeing you revel in your true nature,” he drawled as she reached down to cup his balls, pressing the heel of her hand against his cock. “To see you abandon all your principles...”

“Like you care about my feelings at all,” she replied, watching his jaw slacken as she massaged the spot behind his balls in small circles. 

“Of course I care,” he protested, gasping. “I’m the god of mischief, playing with feelings is what I *do*. How else might I amuse myself if I failed to pay attention?”

“Gee, I don’t know,” she replied. “Would you like to help me with an experiment?”

“I thought I already was,” he panted. He was so close she could feel his precum on her wrist.

“Not yet.” Natasha pulled back so he could see her face.

“You smile,” he frowned, eyebrows knitting together. “Why are you smiling…”

Slowly, she tightened her grip on his sack. Loki’s eyes widened as he bellowed, struggling so violently he lifted both of them off the chair.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CBT/genital torture this chapter.

Loki fell back into the chair with a horrified expression as she let go. “What-?” he squeaked.

“Interesting,” Natasha said casually, resuming her gentle strokes. He’d softened, but not much, and within seconds he was stiffening in her hand. “That should have been enough to kill the passion of an ordinary man, but you-“

“May I remind you I am NOT one of your mortal playthings!” he choked, sweat breaking out on his forehead. “I am a-“

“A masochistic little alien?” she said, giving him a squeeze that made him jump. “See, I don’t think you want to own me at all. You seem to always have so much more fun when I’m in charge.”

Loki winced. “I know not what you mean,” he gasped.

“Oh, come on,” she said, stroking the length of him until he was shaking beneath her. “I think you get off on the pain. I guess you get that same surge of adrenalin the way humans do.”

“Don’t you ever compare me to-“ Loki’s words broke off in a strangled cry as she tightened her grip again.

“Look at you,” she said. “You’re tied up in my interrogation room, I’m twisting your balls off and have any number of ways to string this out for hours, and you don’t even have the common decency to get soft!” 

“And you think this means I enjoy pain, does it?” Loki huffed. “That I am a slave to a base physical reaction? Do you imagine I am aroused by battle?”

“You are when you fight with me,” she shot back, digging in her nails until he loosed a breathless wail. “Why?”

The look on Loki’s face was priceless, his jaw clenched in pain and rage even as his eyes were so dark with arousal she could barely see the green in them. She tormented him some more and he squirmed deliciously, growling threats and curses she couldn’t identify as he panted short, dry breaths.

“Tell me,” she whispered, twisting her wrist.

“The silence!” he cried out, wincing as he finished the words. “The sweet, sweet quiet!” 

“What?” she asked in surprise.

“The pure peace of it, when you have me at your mercy,” he whimpered, blinking his eyes. “The first peace in so, so long…”

Silent tears rolled down his cheeks, and she didn’t have it in her to mock him further after what he’d told her. “How so?” she asked quietly.

“It is a purge, cruel in method but sweet in outcome, when I am undone I…” Loki swallowed and looked up at her. “The rage is sated, for a time. My mind rests and there is only my body. And you…”

“Why me?” she continued. “If it gives you such release why not use a brainwashed minion, or some political groupie?”

He growled and tried to buck her off of him but she held on, tightening her grip around his cock until he roared.

“You tricked me!” he shouted. “You tricked me twice, and every time I think I have you you trick me again!” Loki’s face contorted as he spat the words through gritted teeth. “Your feints drew me in and like a fool I followed, just to enjoy the exchange of wits. And then you took your knife to me,” he hissed, “and all was quiet, I was...cleansed,” he finished with a moan.

This wasn’t the answer she’d expected but the raw desolation on his face told her it was the true one. “It was cathartic for you.” It was more of a statement than a question.

“Yes,” he gasped, “even as I was humiliated! You crush me and I crave more, what witchery is this, you CANNOT be human, cannot be to do this to me!” Tears of rage rolled down his cheeks. “And you ask why I chose you?” Loki snapped. “You were the only being to ever earn it, to ever deserve it, and I HATE the way you make me feel!”

He glared up at her and took a deep breath. “And what of you, *Natasha*?” he said malevolently. “We both know cutting me served no purpose yet I saw how you reveled in it, I saw you smile,” he hissed. “You smiled, you played, you fairly soaked yourself with desire as you broke me, do you deny it?”

Then he smiled that nasty, sharp grin that always preceded his worst barbs. “What is wrong with YOU that you should experience such arousal at inflicting such pain?”

“There is NOTHING wrong with me!” she snapped back, making a fist that made him bellow. “Yes, I got off on it, but only because you did.”

The force drained from her voice as the truth escaped, hanging between them for a long moment. She scowled down at him, his pained, furious eyes holding her gaze in mute challenge, and everything just *clicked*.

All at once she kissed him violently, stubble and sweat notwithstanding and he kissed her back in kind, biting her lip, doing his best despite his bonds to press against her. She pulled his hair and he sucked a breath between his teeth as she started unzipping her catsuit.

“What are you doing?” he rasped.

“I’m doing what I want,” she said, standing up to strip.


	17. Chapter 17

Loki’s jaw dropped as Natasha stripped until the only thing she had left was a small concealed knife. Giving him a meaningful look, she placed it within easy reach on the table.

Without prelude she lowered herself onto him, brushing her lips against his to taste the flick of his tongue as he spoke. “Let me,” he breathed. “Release me, and-” It took all her willpower not to whimper as canted his hips to tease her. 

“No.” She squeezed tight around him, savoring the weight of him inside her. “I’m going to fuck you, Loki,” she whispered, starting to move slowly. “I’m going to fuck you until I’m done. Don’t you dare come until I say, or I might cut you where it takes a long time to heal.” His eyes followed hers as she cast a sidelong glance at the knife.

“Yes...” he rasped, swallowing as she gripped the back of the chair to brace herself. “Take me...use me up...”

She started riding him for all she was worth, moaning louder with each slap of their bodies. He tried to press himself against her but she leaned back, shaking her head. She smirked at the look of pure anguish on his face as she kneaded her breasts and slid her hand between her legs, showing him everything he couldn’t touch. “Don’t come,” she panted, letting her breasts fall just out of reach of his straining mouth. “Not until I say…

Loki groaned as she broke out in a sweat, her free hand rubbing her clit faster in *just* the right place. The last thing she saw before she cried out in ecstasy was his cheeks flushed in pain and frustration.

Natasha’s legs shook as she unwound, but she wasn’t the only one trembling. Loki was still hard inside her and straining with effort, his eyes screwed shut in concentration. “Good,” she whispered, and he looked at her hopefully. His self-control was impressive, but she didn’t want to make this too easy on him. Fortunately, she knew exactly how to wind him up.

“Loki,” she whispered in his ear as she lifted herself up, twisting her hips. “Mmm, Loki, the way you...Loki...”

He strangled out a curse as she crooned his name, telling him how good he felt, how proud she was of him, and whispering all the things she would do to him and with him…”but not yet,” she breathed. And she meant every word of it as she bounced up and down, her climax racing to her even faster this time at the guttural noises he was struggling so hard to control.

“Please,” he stuttered. “Please…”

The noise Loki made when she pulled his head down to her breasts was almost feral, his furious sucking and biting all it took to push her over the edge. “Now, Loki...” she gasped. “You can come now...”

Natasha’s orgasm ripped through her just as he came with a muffled shout, his tears wet against her shoulder as she dug her nails into his scalp.

\-----------

They sat for a long moment, Loki’s head resting in the crook of her shoulder as she held him close, their mixed juices running down her thighs. It was a strangely intimate moment, but one devoid of lies and manipulation for once, and though she wasn’t the affectionate sort she found herself petting his greasy hair as he caught his breath. “Good boy, Loki,” she murmured, kissing his forehead. “You did so, so well.” 

“Thank you….Agent,” he panted in reply. She tipped up his chin to look into his eyes and was amazed at the tranquility she saw there, the expression of sheer relief as he caught his breath.

“I think I might have a plan,” she said.


	18. Chapter 18

The mood in the conference room was somber as agents escorted Loki to his seat.

He had still been in a blissful haze when Natasha had explained her idea in the interrogation room, but an hour later he was as haughty as ever, glaring at everyone in the room. If any of them noticed how gingerly he sat down they didn’t say anything, for which she was grateful - she’d been lucky to get as many concessions as she had from Fury, and didn’t need Loki blowing this because of some imagined slight. 

Fury was present of course, and they couldn’t have excluded Thor if they had tried. She and Agent Lewis were the only other attendees. All were silent and serious, and poor Lewis appeared to be doing her best not to cower, leaning as far away from Loki as she could while still staying in her chair.

Silently, Loki flipped through the paperwork they’d prepared that outlined his new “arrangement” with S.H.I.E.L.D.

While he would technically be assigned to consult with Agent Lewis in the political analysis division Natasha would be his handler, making all decisions regarding access to him and his expertise. Thor would liaise with Odin to keep Asgard informed of developments.

“What is this?” Loki asked, stabbing the paper with his finger. “‘Thor will be reporting to the Asgardian authorities on the prisoner’s progress?’ Do you mean to have them spy on me with their monitoring devices?” he snapped, looking at Thor.

“It is only for Father’s-”

“ _Your_ father,” Loki interrupted. “As if I could hide from Heimdall while wearing these wretched things!” he said, jingling the cuffs on his wrists.

He was also to be restrained in the magic-dampening alloy cuffs at all times until Banner and Stark could devise a laboratory that confined his abilities for safe demonstration. Loki’s initial contribution would be limited to sharing his methods of social manipulation, but even the mind games of a trickster god were valuable in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s view.

“Everyone is under surveillance here,” Natasha pointed out. 

“Not always,” he replied with a sly grin.

“Think of Moth - think of Frigga,” interrupted Thor, changing the subject to everyone’s relief. “She would know how you fare,” he finished quietly.

Loki paused only briefly before snorting and going back to the contract, but Natasha noticed. _So he was close to his adoptive mother_ , she thought. _Interesting_.

Fury would decide whether he would be made available for any other projects, and held the final say regarding the extent of Loki’s contact with the world outside S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.

Natasha, however, had access to Loki at any time and was responsible for his “mental and physical welfare.” She could tell he’d reached that part of the contract when this thin lips spread in a smile, and she fought the urge to shift in her seat. Details were not provided and no one had wanted any.

Natasha was on probation until she proved herself trustworthy again: no missions, no travel, no no fresh leads, nothing except Loki and the base. She'd kill Loki if he turned down this deal because then she really would be on desk duty as Fury had threatened.

“So, does this meet your exacting royal standards?” the director asked impatiently.

Loki made a great show of flipping back through the contract, knitting his brows and tutting to himself as he reviewed it. “It will suffice,” he said with a sniff. “For now. I trust these conditions are subject to revision as the need arises?”

“Absolutely,” Fury replied. ”Step out of line and we’ll throw you in a hole so deep you’ll never see the light of day again.”

Loki appeared to consider. “And if I comply?”

Fury shook his head. “Your behavior will have to be spectacular to get any perks beyond what’s listed there.”

“I imagine I have quite the perk already,” he said, casting a glance towards Natasha.

“Yes or no, Loki,” she prompted, gritting her teeth.

“It is acceptable,” he said offhandedly, taking the pen offered and signing, using marks Natasha didn’t recognize. “When do we start?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at Natasha.

“Tomorrow,” said Lewis, hastily grabbing the contract. “We’ve gotta process this before you can do...anything,” she said, flinching. 

Everyone else seemed keen to leave as well, though Loki had be led out first. Still in chains, he smiled deviously at Natasha as he exited, and Lewis gave her a questioning look.

“Don’t ask,” whispered Natasha, hoping no one else would hear.

“Don’t tell,” replied Lewis, making a beeline for the door as soon as Loki was gone.

And just as Natasha thought she couldn’t feel more awkward, Thor approached her in the hall.

“Agent Romanoff, I would have a word,” he said. 

His tone brooked no refusal.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not super happy with this chapter, but I hope it clears some things up.

Natasha had never seen Thor look so serious, not even in the heat of battle. He appeared nervous as well, shifting his feet and avoiding her gaze.

“I-” he started hesitantly.

“Yes,” she prompted, keeping her voice even.

"You know I always objected to this means of apprehending Loki,” he began. Rubbing his chin, he looked away for a moment as if carefully considering his next words.

“Had I known what you had planned I would have killed you where you stood,” he said suddenly, and the steel in his voice chilled Natasha. She was grateful that it seemed tempered by bewilderment. He wanted to vent, not fight, but she would have to tread carefully.

“I am not blind to his crimes and I know he must be stopped, but he is still my brother,” Thor continued, with a vicious frown. “I knew any confrontation would require deceit to succeed, but your cruelty was...exceptional.” He looked at her expectantly. “You had accomplished your mission, and had him intimately vulnerable. How could you take such advantage?”

“I hadn’t planned it,” she offered quietly. 

“And yet that was the action you chose,” Thor snapped. “And then I read the narrative, of his reactions,” he continued, shaking his head in disbelief. “I admit I do not understand, and am not confident that his enthusiasm was not some sort of feint on his part, but…”

Natasha was sure there were some things even Loki couldn’t fake, but she didn’t say so. Clearly Thor was really struggling with this, so it seemed best to let him keep talking.

His shoulders slumped exasperatedly. “As it stands I am uncertain whether to warn you off of him, or him off of you.”

“How do you mean?” she asked.

“Loki is no longer boy I played with or the man who fought at my side, but he is still my brother, no matter what he says,” Thor said. “And you are my trusted ally, yet you are as devious as he could ever hope to be.”

Natasha shivered in recognition. If it was so obvious to Thor it probably was to the others as well, but it still pained her to hear it said aloud. 

Thor sighed. “I am unsure where I meant to go with this conversation,” he confessed. “I know not how, but you clearly give him something he needs, something no one else understands. Hurt him if you must, but I ask that you spare him permanent harm.”

“I will try,” she replied, and meant it. Awkward as this talk was, she admired Thor’s brotherly devotion. Was this his way of blessing their odd arrangement?

“And do look out for yourself, Agent Romanoff,” he said, with light touch to her shoulder. “Loki obsesses easily, and even small resentments fester in his mind. If you should go too far, I fear my threats would seem as nothing compared to his wrath.”

Natasha didn’t even realize she was holding her breath until Thor turned and left. He still looked confused as he made his way down the hallway, and she wasn’t sure where she stood with him - only time would tell. All told the conversation had gone about as well as it could, and that would have to do for now.

No, it was the next conversation that she was really dreading. She'd been a fool to think she could avoid it forever, and now it was all but inevitable. She would need willpower, privacy, and almost certainly, a drink.


	20. Chapter 20

It took Natasha over a week to summon the nerve to call Clint.

He was curt on the phone, but she coaxed enough out of him to agree on a meeting place. She’d chosen an on an out-of-the-way bar that neither of them knew - neutral ground. 

They sat silent in the back of the room, with their untouched drinks. She watched Clint spin his whisky glass in wet circles on the table. He always fidgeted when he was upset; for her own part she sat silently with hands folded in her lap, waiting.

At last he spoke. “What the hell were you thinking?” he asked.

“I wasn’t,” she admitted. “That was the problem.”

“That’s not like you,” Clint pointed out. “You ALWAYS think, and I just have to wonder-”

“He came on to me and he was so full of himself, I didn’t think he could get to me,” she said through gritted teeth. “I didn’t expect...I thought I could use him...”

“If it was just sex I could almost see it, but all that stuff he said, that he didn't kill you after you...“ his voice trailed off. “Seems like he’s more than just a hookup,” he said spitefully.

“He couldn’t compromise me without compromising himself,” she said defensively. “He told me he wanted me, and that was his first mistake-”

“And why did you suggest this crazy bargain?” Clint interrupted. “You could have let Asgard deal with him!”

“Because…” she started hesitantly. Even before she could find the words she saw realization dawn on his face.

“Don’t tell me you think there’s good in him or something!” he said in disbelief.

She shivered at the memory of Loki’s offer, at his frightening conviction that torture was right and necessary. “I think he wants to do good,” she said hesitantly. “I just think he doesn’t know how-”

“He’s a psychopath,” Clint huffed. “I saw the transcript, I’ve been in his head - he doesn’t even know good from bad!”

“Was I any better when we first met?” she shot back.

“You knew the difference,” Clint replied. “You just needed someone to give you the chance to do the right thing.”

“Yes,” Natasha snapped. “I knew the difference, and STILL did things I’ll never be able to live with! How does that make me better than him?”

“Is that what this is about?” Clint asked incredulously. “Guilt? You’ve more than made up for your past!”

“Have I?” she asked in a small voice.

They sat in silence, Clint sipping his drink, Natasha biting back tears as she made fists under the table. He’d hit a nerve and they both knew it.

“Do you care for him?” 

His jaw was set as the question hung between them like a fog, out of nowhere but impossible to avoid, and it was clear that this was what was really feeding Clint’s rage. 

If she were honest with herself she didn’t really like Loki. Fantastic in the sack though he was, he was also cruel, selfish, and arrogant - and that was before considering his crimes. But she’d also seen his frailty and desperation, and the few times she’d seen him at peace...

“He’s an insecure, resentful mess,” she began. “I think that’s why he singled me out: I outwitted him, and he couldn’t stand that a ‘mere mortal’ beat him at his own game. He wanted to show me up, and then somehow it twisted into something else,” she finished. “Look, I’m not excusing his actions, but he’s coming from a really broken place.” 

“That doesn’t answer the question,” he said tersely.

“I care about what he could be,” she said. “He can’t go on like he is - everyone’s safety depends on it.”

“And you think you can fix his crazy?” Clint asked, taking a belt of whisky. “I don’t see how indulging his kinks is going to make him any saner.”

“I think I’m able to give him some relief,” she replied cautiously. “He’s less aggressive and manipulative when he’s sated, and for some reason he...lets me calm him down. Maybe if he’s quiet in his own mind for awhile he can start to get a grip.” 

Clint shook his head. “Smarter women than you have been suckered by the idea that love can save-”

“It’s not love,” she said simply. “It’s pity.”

Clint sniffed and they both sat back, silent. He resumed spinning his glass on the table, the wet circles running over each other and together until she couldn’t help herself.

“Clint, I can’t love you the way you want me to,” she blurted out, heart clenching in her chest. “You are my friend, you gave me a chance, and I can’t ever thank you enough for that. But I can’t give you the warmth and happiness you deserve.”

He started to speak but she held up her hand. “Let me finish. I don’t love Loki either, but I can give him what he needs. All I’ve got to give is pain, and if it keeps him from rampaging all over earth… well, maybe it’s worth it.”

Clint sighed. “I’ve... known for a long time it’s not me,” Clint said slowly. “That there’s not going to be an us...not like that, anyway.” He looked exhausted. “I just...I think you have more to give than you realize, and I just hate that _he_ ’s getting any part of you.”

Natasha nodded. Her mouth was dry and empty of protests, because she couldn’t deny that she and Loki did have a strange understanding of each other, and in time, he would only know more - just as she would know more of him.

“Are you ok?” she said quietly, annoyed at her own neediness.

Clint placed his hand on hers. “I will be,” he replied. “Just… I need some time.”

He tossed a folded twenty on the table and stood up. “Be careful, Tash,” he said. “I know the bastard. He’s violent, possessive...if he comes to rely on you for *anything* he’ll never let you go,” he warned. 

“Better me than in thrall to the Chitauri, or something worse,” she said, lifting her chin.

“I hope so,” he replied, hands in his pockets.

Natasha watched him go, and downed her drink in a single swallow.


	21. Chapter 21

It took over a month to process Loki’s paperwork.

Not a surprise, really - everything had to be approved by Thor’s people, and communications between Asgard and Earth weren’t exactly easy or quick. The wait gave Natasha time to think, which was both a blessing and a curse.

It wasn’t the physical threat Loki represented that concerned her. She’d made a career of risking her life and knew very well the extent - and limits - of her strength and reflexes. Even if the odds weren’t in her favor, she enjoyed the certainty that her years of training gave her the tools to act if she had to. And if worst came to worst… well, she’d been prepared for that for years.

It was Thor’s and Clint’s words that gave her pause. 

She’d let Loki get too close. In finding his vulnerabilities she’d shown him her anger, shame, and arrogance, all tools he was sure to use against her, no matter what power dynamic was laid out in their agreement. And in bringing his weaknesses to the fore, she’d found herself considering that he might have the potential to be something more than the spoiled maniac who had tried to take over her planet.

Loki had made her _doubt_ , both herself and her assessment of him. THAT is what made him so dangerous.

 _Worthy opponent indeed_ , she thought ruefully as the doors to the prison floor opened with a loud hiss.

He was the only occupant on the floor and she could feel the magic dampening field cling to her like static when she hitched the duffel bag on her shoulder. The reinforced steel and Hulk-proof glass were the same as those from his prison on the Helicarrier, but he was also furnished with bed, desk, and chair, all bolted to the floor and fashioned of severely simple metal and cotton. No doubt he’d complained, so when his head whipped around as she typed in the security code she braced herself for an onslaught of grievances.

His stiff posture and hands folded behind his back suggested he’d been pacing, and pacing for quite awhile, if his angry frown was any indication. “I had thought you had forgotten about me,” he snapped, but she could see a trace of hurt in his eyes.

“Blame bureaucracy,” she replied, crossing her arms. “Is everything satisfactory?”

“It is as you laid it out in your agreement,” he said with an aloof air. “I would prefer some reading material. Surely even Fury wouldn’t oppose that.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” she said, putting the bag on the table. 

Loki’s eyes lit up as she lifted out a perfectly pressed black suit and crisp white shirt. “At last, you deign to garb me as the prince I am,” he said with approval. 

“Only if you earn it.” He looked almost comfortable in the cell, regarding her smugly while she watched him for any signs of trickery, and her suspicion pinched. Once again Loki was exactly where he wanted to be, and she could not help but wonder if he had planned it all this way.

He smiled at her hesitation. “How I wonder what is troubling you today,” he said.

“We’re going to find ourselves on opposite sides again one day,” Natasha said, surprised at her own candor.

He nodded in agreement. “Very possibly,” he agreed. “If it suits my purposes.”

She cocked her head and looked at him thoughtfully. “I’m just wondering how it will be, after all we’ve been through. After everything I’m going to put you through,” she murmured, letting him see her cast her eyes down his long, lean body.

“Oh, I imagine it will be an interesting day,” he nodded, leaning to whisper in her ear. “But today is not that day,” he purred.

She suppressed the shiver his velvet voice sent down her spine. “No, it’s not,” she replied, pulling out the last item, a two foot length of bamboo cane. “Do you know what bamboo is?” she asked, tapping it against his hip to test the weight and flex.

“No,” he said with evident curiosity. “But I suppose you will show me.”

Natasha imagined how beautifully his perfect milky skin was going welt under the cane, and saw him tense when she smiled. “Oh yes,” he said huskily.

She shut off the cameras.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a difficult time finishing this one, perhaps because I never want their enemies-with-benefits story to end!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, tell your friends, etc.


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